Give Thanks {No Matter What} • 6 Comments

Typically, I love the holidays...the food, the decorations, the events, the food, the music, the shopping...and did I mention, the food?

But this year has been different. Instead of hours of baking and shopping, I realize I'll spend my limited energy keeping up with my family and regular routines. Instead of mental lists of "to dos" and "to buys," I find myself wondering and worrying about the next treatment, scan or doctor appointment. It just doesn't seem fair that, because of chemotherapy treatments, my time and energy (both physical and mental) are limited this year. Honestly, it had me in a bit of a funk a couple of weeks ago.

Then, as if God was trying to get my attention (ahem), I heard a sermon last week on...JOY.

The pastor made the statement, "Joy is not dependent on what happens to us or around us. It is a result of what has happened in us." He went on to add, "Because the Holy Spirit is in you [as Christians], what happens around you, can't take [joy] from you."

Then I recalled Ann Voskamp's words in 1,000 Gifts : "As long as thanks is possible, then joy is always possible." (page 33)

So that was it: My thanks is not dependent on my circumstances, my circumstances (or at least my outlook on them....my joy) is dependent on my thankfulness.

So, despite my circumstances I am choosing to be thankful:

Because God loves me and has given me life. (John 10:10).
For my amazing husband who keeps me grounded, and at the same time, helps me soar.
For my beautiful, smart, creative, hilarious children.
For extended family who love us unconditionally.
For friends who have become family
For a church family with whom to grow in our faith and be encouraged.
For a house, neighborhood, and community that are more than we could have hoped for.
For so many other moments, every day, that God catches our attention just to say, "I did this for you, because I love you."

The holidays can be stressful and overwhelming, even when the rest of life is going smoothly. But whatever circumstances you face today, this week, this year, I pray you find time to gather with those you love and, more importantly, you find a way to be thankful...no matter what.

"Thank God no matter what happens. This is the way God wants you who belong to Christ Jesus to live." (1 Thessalonians 5:18).

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Tostada Casserole • 8 Comments

You may remember my love for Mexican food . Well, my passion for a good fiesta has reached a whole new level with this simple, throw-together Tostada Casserole.

It's a great way to use up leftover taco meat. Make it up for a different take on Mexican the following night. Or throw it all together and freeze it for a busy night when dinner sneaks up on you.

It also makes a great hearty meal to give to others. I recently took this dinner to a family from church who had just moved to a new home. The mom later told me her three growing boys gobbled it up!

1 pkg corn torillas
1 lb prepared taco meat (beef, chicken, or turkey cooked with taco seasoning)
1 can beans (I use non-fat refried beans)
1 pkg sharp cheddar cheese
1 large can enchilada sauce
Sour cream (optional)
Guacamole (optional)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees and spray a 9 x 13-inch casserole dish
with non-stick cooking spray.

Cover the bottom of the casserole dish with a layer of corn tortillas (5-6 tortillas).
Spread 1/3 of the beans over the tortillas, then spread 1/3 of the meat over the beans.
Pour 1/2 cup of enchilada sauce over the meat and sprinkle a handful of cheese over top.

Repeat two more times.

Add one more layer of tortillas on top. Pour remaining sauce over tortillas
and top with the rest of the cheese.

Cover and bake for 30 minutes.

Garnish with sour cream and guacamole (if desired) and serve
with salad and Mexican rice.

Talking to Kids about Cancer • 16 Comments

Cancer is something most adults don't like to talk about. So how on earth do you talk to kids about cancer? And how do you talk to your kids about your cancer?

When it came time to tell our kids (ages 6 and 8) about my own battle, we focused on a few key things:

{HUGE Disclaimer here: I am not a professional counselor or therapist. These tips are not given as professional advice. They are simply things we found helpful in communicating with our kids.}

1. Information.
We set out to give our kids information, plain and simple. Yes, cancer is a big, scary, emotional word. But kids don't always know that. Depending on the ages and experiences of your children, they may not even know what cancer is. You don't have to go into a lot of detail about diagnosis or prognosis. They simply want to know what's going on and how it will affect them.

We used the words "cancer" and "chemotherapy" with our kids so they would know what those words meant when they overheard them in conversation. We explained, "Mommy has something in her body that's not supposed to be there. It's called a tumor, and it's a type of cancer." We explained the doctors want me to take a type of medicine called "chemotherapy" that we hope will help get rid of the cancer.

2. Expectations
Cancer and chemotherapy are big words to kids. (Who are we kidding, they're big words to grown-ups!) They will want to know what that means for them. We explained to our kids what they could expect in the coming weeks: "When I take my medicine, it will make me feel yucky and very tired. It might make me sick to my stomach and would probably make my hair fall out." (My 6-year-old thought that was hilarious!). We explained people would be helping us by bringing meals and driving them to and from school.

We also explained what we expected from them. Kids find security in routine. They need to know things will continue as normal, or what to expect from the new normal. We explained that our day-to-day routines would remain as normal as possible. That meant homework and chores were expected to be done, extra help was appreciated, and life was business as usual (with a lot of extra hugs and fun thrown in!).

3. Empower them
Kids tend to feel helpless in general...they're told what to do, when to do it, and how it's to be done. Add to that a life-altering situation like cancer and kids can quickly feel their helplessness spiraling out of control.

We gave our kids tangible things they could do to help the situation. They have made cards for me, brought me drinks and snacks, read me stories, snuggled, and dubbed themselves "nurses" for the day to take care of Mommy when I don't feel well. We've also encouraged them to ask whatever questions they have, whenever they have them. (And we've tried to be prepared with the best, age-appropriate answers we could find.)

4. Enlist help
As parents we are responsible for our children, yes, but that doesn't mean we can't have a little help now and then...especially in the midst of a fight against cancer. In the moments I feel my children need a little extra pick-me-up, I have unashamedly asked friends to take them on play dates, give them some added attention, or simply pray for them specifically as they wrestle through their emotions.

I asked their teachers and some key people at their school to "keep an eye" out for anything that might be concerning to them. I also spoke with the counselor at their school who suggested the following resources:

Hair for Mama
Nowhere Hair
When Someone You Love Has Cancer

A conversation about cancer is not one any parent wants to have with their child, but if the time comes, keep it simple. Give them information and keep the lines of communication open. In a way, kids are a lot like cancer patients...often stronger than we give them credit for.

For more information on talking to your kids about cancer, see these articles from respected resources:

Tips for Talking to Your Children about Cancer
Helping Children Understand Cancer
Dealing with Diagnosis

Ultimate Loaded Potato Soup • 12 Comments

When a friend mentioned awhile back that she didn't have a recipe for homemade potato soup, I knew I needed to post mine. No family should be deprived of a big pot of cheesy, bacon-y, potato goodness on a cold fall night!

A few years ago, I went searching for a good potato soup recipe. Once I found one, I tweaked it and tweaked it (adjusting for taste and food allergies). It finally morphed into this beauty that has become a staple in our home...perfect for a crisp, fall evening!

8-10 medium potatoes, peeled and cubed
1 onion, chopped
2 stalks celery, diced
4-6 cups chicken broth
1 pint half-and-half cream
1 bag real bacon bits (or 1 pound cooked bacon, crumbled)
8 oz sour cream
2 cups shredded cheddar cheese

In a large stock pot combine potatoes, onions, and celery; cover with chicken broth.
Bring to a boil and simmer on medium until potatoes are slightly soft.

Add half and half, bacon, and sour cream. Stir until creamy.
Add cheese and stir until completely melted.
Simmer on low until potatoes are completely tender.

Garnish with shredded cheese.

You're welcome!

The Great Pumpkin Recipe Round-up • 12 Comments

Fall is my favorite time of year...my favorite colors, my favorite weather, my favorite activities, and my favorite foods. Topping the list of favorite fall foods is pumpkin anything...bread, muffins, pie, lattes, cookies...you get the idea.

So, I've compiled some of my favorite pumpkin recipes into one post (you're welcome).

Pumpkin-Recipe-Roundup

You'd better go ahead and preheat the oven, because once you're through here I guarantee you'll be inspired to whip up something pumpkin-licious!

Who doesn't love a good, all-purpose, pumpkin bread/muffin recipe? This is my favorite and a must-have in our home every Fall.

If you're looking for something a little sweeter, these Iced Pumpkin Chocolate Chip cookies will hit the spot. Bonus: They're not just for Fall...they're great ANYTIME! Or try this Chocolate Pumpkin Bread...YUM!

Speaking of sweet tooth, have you tried Pumpkin Snickerdoodles? What could be better than making a great cookie even better by adding pumpkin?

What better way to start the day than with Pumpkin Whole Wheat Pecan Pancakes..YUM! Trying to "be good" this holiday season? Try this healthy version at RDelicious Kitchen...only 5 ingredients! Or why not have cookies for breakfast...Pumpkin Spice Quinoa cookies, that is!

Looking to serve something new this year at Thanksgiving dinner? How about Homemade Pumpkin Crescent Rolls? Or perhaps you're sticking with the tried and true, like homemade Pumpkin Roll.

Of course, no Fall is complete with out Pumpkin Spice Lattes! Did you know you can make it at home...in your crockpot!! How awesome is that? And if you don't want all the added sugar and such in the coffee shop version, check out this recipe for an all-natural version that is amazing!

Or save yourself some expense (and additives) this holiday season by roasting your own pumpkin or make your own Pumpkin Pie Spice...super easy!

So there you have it, every pumpkin recipe you could ever want...but just in case you didn't find what you were looking for, here's another Pumpkin Recipe Round-up that just might help.

You might have noticed there was no recipe for pumpkin pie. There's an easy explanation for that: I don't have one. So, if you have a favorite that you'd like to share...leave me a comment and I'd love to try it out. Who knows, you just might make the next round-up!

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Thank You {and a gift for YOU!} • 7 Comments

We've made it to the last day of October, and to the end of my month-long writing challenge. I made new friends and found a few new readers along the way. If that's you...Welcome, I'm so glad you're here!

I'm so grateful to everyone who has followed my story, left encouraging comments, and committed to pray for us.

Our journey is not over, and I will continue to write about it (and add to the series) as long as we are on this road. But starting next week, I'll also be writing about other things in my life again: family, food, fun...and the upcoming holidays. (I can't wait to share some fabulous recipes for the holidays!) I would love for you to continue the journey with me.

To thank you for your support and encouragement, I'd like to offer you these downloadable Scripture Printables (set of 10) for FREE. Here are just a few of the Scriptures in the set.

To download the full set, click here.

They are great reminders of God's faithfulness. Print them on cardstock and hang them in a visible place in your home. Or, put one in a frame and give to a friend who is going through a difficult time.

The FREE printables will be available through the weekend. Starting on Monday, November 4, they will be available to There Is Grace subscribers only. So why not go ahead and subscribe by entering your e-mail in the box to the right? When you do, I'll send each new post directly to your inbox. Easy peasy.

"Every time I think of you, I give thanks to my God." (Philippians 1:3, NLT)

hope-cancer-250 This post is part of the series, Embracing Hope where we look at why we can put our hope in God, how we put our hope in God, and what we can do when it feels all hope is lost. To view the entire series, click here.

The Many Phases of Chemo Hair Loss • 21 Comments

When we met with the specialist in August, he recommended I start chemo right away. Then he said, "Three weeks after you start chemo, all your hair will fall out." (He's not one for sugar-coating.) So, as I sat in his office trying to process all the information about the tumors, my diagnosis, the treatment options, and the "non-curative"-ness of what I have, I also attempted to wrap my mind around the fact that within a few short weeks I would be completely bald.

Granted, in the grand scheme of things, losing my hair is a minor issue. I mean...it's just hair, right? It will grow back. But combined with everything else, it was a difficult pill to swallow.

As I mentioned last time , I've always had thick, naturally curly hair. While I have often longed for straighter, "simpler" hair, my hair is the outward feature people comment on most: "Oh, I wish I had naturally curly hair." (Trust me...it's not all that glamorous.) "I bet you don't have to do anything to your hair!" (Yes, if you consider applying a mountain of product to tame the beast "not doing anything," then sure.)

To make matters worse, after a 35-year battle, I had finally tossed the straighteners and flat iron and embraced my God-given curls. I even began to like them... a little. And I was just waiting for 80s hair to come back, because let me tell you, this girl can rock some big-hair-band hair (see middle picture above)!

I didn't really intend to approach my hair loss in phases, but that's how it happened. And I think it made the whole process a little more bearable.

Phase 1: Short
Going into my first treatment, I still wasn't sure what to do about my hair...face it head on and shave it all, or wait for the inevitable to happen? I had read that short hair is easier to manage as it begins to fall out, and that seemed like a logical first step. A good friend who is a stylist by trade came over one evening and gave me this cute new 'do! I loved it so much I was sad I hadn't done it months ago! (Thank you, Sheila!)

Phase 2: Thinning
True to my doctor's prediction, my hair started thinning a couple of weeks after my first treatment. Just a few strands at first, and I thought it would be a slow transition...maybe I wouldn't lose my hair at all. (I had heard of that happening.) It continued that way for several days. Then, suddenly it started coming out in clumps...HUGE clumps! It happened so quickly, I wasn't prepared to take the next step yet. Thankfully, I had plenty of hats to wear!

Phase 3: The Razor
The thinning phase didn't last long. Now I had reached the point I'd been dreading. I really wrestled with the timing of when to shave my hair. I wasn't worried about "looking different" or not having hair. I struggled with the fact that everyone would know what I was going through. I couldn't go to the store, or out to dinner, and pretend like nothing was wrong. Once my hair was gone, everyone who saw me would know I have cancer.

But I finally reached the point where I grew weary of sweeping the bathroom floor and vacuuming my shirt multiple times a day. I knew what I needed to do.

L: baldy, R: my look for the first time I went out without hair

My friend again came over and shaved what was left of my hair. Once it was done, I was fine. I could move forward and start thinking about how to work in all those fabulous accessories I had been collecting.

Phase 4: Scarves and Wraps
I quickly discovered that without any hair on one's head (or neck), one tends to get very cold...especially when one lives in Missouri...in October. For that reason, I prefer to wear hats that came down farther on my head. I also started wearing more scarves (around my neck or on my head) and head wraps.

My absolute favorite head covering for warmth and comfort is this inexpensive method (Seriously, if you know someone going through chemo, forward this video to her. It will change her life!):

Phase 5: Cranial Prosthesis
Yep, that is what it's called (especially if you get a prescription from your doc, which you might want to do for insurance purposes...just sayin'). I wasn't sure I wanted to get one (a.k.a. "a wig") because I had heard they are incredibly uncomfortable and unnatural. But on a whim a couple of weeks ago, Hubby and I stopped in a wig shop specifically for cancer patients. I decided to have fun with it, because honestly how many times in your life do you get the opportunity to try so many hair colors and styles at one time?

I finally tried on a cute little pixie cut that my husband swore was very natural-looking. It is eerily close to my original hair color, although not a style I would have ever chosen for my own hair. Still, I liked it. It's fun. It's cute. It's warm.

And bonus...I it looks great with a cute scarf tied around it!

So, if you see me out and about, chances are you will see me in a hat, a wrap, or my cranial prosthetic. Pretty sure you won't catch me walking around in my bald head, though...it's just too cold for that!

hope-cancer-250 This post is part of the series, Embracing Hope. In the coming weeks, we'll look at why we can put our hope in God, how we put our hope in God, and what we can do when it feels all hope is lost. Won't you come along for the journey? Consider subscribing via e-mail so you can receive new posts delivered directly to your inbox! Simply enter your e-mail address in the box to the right. To view the entire series, click here.

How to Host a Hat Party • 9 Comments

When I told my two best friends I would have to go through chemotherapy, their response was, "We're throwing you a hat party!" (Well, that wasn't their initial response...it followed the shock, the tears, and the hugs.)

As the fashionably-challenged and accessory-deprived woman that I am, I thought a Hat Party was a great idea. I have always had very thick, very (naturally) curly hair. It consumed enough of my time and energy to tame the locks. So there was little time left to think of accessories like scarves and hats. I usually considered it a win if I left the house without looking like a bird had nested on my head. If I happened to have on cute earrings, too, well that was just a great day!

Facing the reality of chemotherapy, and the fact that I would (likely) lose my hair, I knew I would need to compensate the loss of my locks with some fabulous accessories. (And quite honestly, that would be a challenge for me!) But I knew some added accessories might lift my spirits and just might boost my confidence as well.

I mean, if you have to do chemotherapy and lose your hair, why not rock some fabulous hats and scarves with it, right?!

Here are some tips that (in my opinion...as the guest of honor) made for a fabulous hat party:

1. Schedule a convenient time. This might seem like a no-brainer, but when you're working around a chemo schedule and the unpredictability of it's side effects, this is crucial. There's nothing worse than throwing a party to lift someone's spirits then having the guest of honor miss because she is not feeling up to it. My party was several days after treatment. I was feeling much better by then and ready to get out of the house. If your guest of honor doesn't yet know how chemo will affect her, consider having the party before she begins treatment.

2. Choose a casual location. This is not high tea with The Queen. No one needs to feel pressured into a black-tie event, especially a chemo patient. Even if your guest of honor is up to coming, she may not be feeling her best. It might be all she can do to throw on her comfy jeans and a sweater. Let her off the hook and go casual.

My friends chose a coffee shop just off the square in my little town. It was the perfect combination of cozy and casual. No dress code required, but caffeine and brownies in abundance! (Oh, did I mention...yummy treats are a must!)

3. Set a tone in your invitation. Cancer is a touchy subject, and everyone deals with it differently. Some face it head-on with humor and sarcasm. Others might be uncomfortable at the very mention of it. Respect the feelings of your guests and your guest of honor. Use your invitation to give specifics and to set the tone for your party.

My friends and I tend to use humor and sarcasm as coping mechanism. At one point they considered titling the invitations: I've Got Cancer, Top That! (which I thought was awesome). However, they decided to go with: Hats Off to Cancer (also great and a little less in-your-face). They requested that guests bring a hat/scarf OR some dark chocolate (my favorite) as a gift. EVERYONE brought BOTH. My closet is full of hats and my freezer is now well-stocked with dark chocolate!!

Two of the great hats I got from my party!

4. Be a gracious hostess. My friends did a great job adding little touches to the party that made everyone feel welcome. Beautiful treat bags were at each place setting when guests arrived. The hostesses provided thank you cards for me and had guests address the already-stamped envelopes, saving me time and expense later. Guests were asked to write an encouraging note to me in a keepsake journal. Each note meant so much to me, and I've gone back and read them over and over again. Every little gesture made for a great experience for me, as the guest of honor, and for each guest.

5. Be a good friend. My friends know me well. They tailored the party to me...right down to the dark chocolate. Does your friend love a big bash? Would she prefer a more intimate setting with a few close friends? Does she love brunch or is she more of a late-night coffee shop person? Think about her...what does she enjoy? What makes her smile? What brings her comfort?

Your friend going through a lot right now, both physically and emotionally. She needs the love of close friends and the comfort of their company. I'm so thankful that's exactly what I got from mine! (You all know who you are! )

Hope for the Hopeless Days • 13 Comments

Not every day is a good day. Even when life is going well, we all have those not-so-great days. Those days the kids won't get along. When traffic is against you at every turn. When you realize your favorite jeans don't fit anymore. Those days can hit hard. They hit even harder when you're walking through a hopeless situation. A hopeless day is sometimes enough to put even the most hope-ful person over the edge. I had a lot of those days early on. Days when I couldn't think straight. When I didn't have the words to pray. When I couldn't find the courage to ask others to pray because I knew I would break down in tears on the spot. Those days are fewer now, but they still come. And when they do, I call for reinforcements. When I first learned of my diagnosis, I knew I needed to pray, but I didn't have the words. I knew I needed to be in the Word, but I didn't know where to start. But I knew who did. I have a group of friends who stand on incredible legs of faith. I knew when I couldn't stand on my own, they would be my legs. And they were. They prayed for me. They emailed prayers to me. They texted Scripture to me. And not just once, but again and again until I could once again stand on my own. I have another group of friends who I called when I was tired of talking about and thinking about cancer. When I couldn't read anymore about the disease and its treatments. When I grew weary of thinking about my situation, these friends took me out for coffee (and the obligatory chocolate). We talked about parenting dilemmas and laughed at the good old days and one another. It was a welcomed escape from the day-to-day heaviness I was facing.

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up (Ecclesiastes 4:9, 10).

We all need a little help from time to time. No one can be strong all the time. The beauty of community is that we don't have to walk our road alone.

Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. (Galatians 6:2).

We were meant to do life in relationship...with God first, but also with others. With those who need to see Christ in us, yes. But also with other believers. God never intended us to walk through our dark times alone. He promises to go with us, but He also longs to send us people "with skin on" who can take our hands, hold us up when we crumble under the weight of life, and point us to Christ. Do you know someone facing a difficult situation? How can you help carry their burden today?

Finding Hope in Community • 11 Comments

Last time I wrote about how to reign in our emotions through worship. You might find it ironic, then, to learn that when I wrote that post, I was struggling with worry and anxiety.

You see, I was facing a follow-up appointment with my specialist the next day. And let me just say, those are never fun. It seems they never have good news, and even when they do, it's typically followed by not-so-good news.

So while I wholeheartedly believe what I wrote about worship and emotions, what I really wanted to do last Wednesday evening was crawl in bed and hide under my covers until the nasty appointment went away. Thankfully, that's not what I did.

Since it was Wednesday, I pulled myself together and headed to our midweek prayer meeting at church. We call it "the most important service of the week," and here's why....

From the moment I walked in, I saw encouraging faces...friends who know what I'm going through and are praying. Before I even reached the auditorium, I was encouraged by smiles, hugs, words of kindness, and confirmation that I am being prayed for by many, many people!

The worship service had begun by the time we reached the auditorium. We walked in to the sound of hundreds of people singing, "Your name is higher; Your name is greater
All my hope is in You.." It was like walking into a spiritual and emotional refuge. I felt the anxiety melt away as I rested in the knowledge that no matter what I faced the next day, God was not worried, and my hope was in Him.

As a sat in the service, I was reminded of the timely messages for our circumstances. Our pastor preaches systematically through passages and entire books of the Bible. We are currently working our way through the Gospel of John. A few weeks before our initial trip to the specialist, we were in John 10 where we learned about God as the Good Shepherd.

The Sunday after learning of our diagnosis, we were at the story of Lazarus, where I was reminded that although Christ was about to perform a miracle He still wept for His friend and the family (John 11:35). Our pastor made the statement: "God is powerful enough to change our situation and personal enough to enter into the emotion of our situation." If I ever needed to hear that truth, it was then.

It seems a given to suggest that one needs a support group in life, especially when faced with an illness like cancer. However, I think as Christians we need more than a network of well-meaning individuals. We need a community of believers. We need to be connected to a body of believers with whom we can do life...when we are in crisis and when we are not. Because church is not just for the hard times.

If you wait until you are in a crisis to find a community of believers, it may be too late. You may not have the time, energy, or desire to go looking for such a community. However, if you search out such a community before you are in crisis, you will have a support system in place when you need it most. And if you don't have the emotional strength and energy to reach out to them, let them reach out to you. That's what the Church (when it's done well) does best!

Oh, by the way...my appointment with the specialist went really well. The chemo is working; the tumors are shrinking. Praise God! We are continuing to believe God for complete healing!

Photo source

This post is part of the series, Embracing Hope. In the coming weeks, we'll look at why we can put our hope in God, how we put our hope in God, and what we can do when it feels all hope is lost. Won't you come along for the journey? Consider subscribing via e-mail so you can receive new posts delivered directly to your inbox! Simply enter your e-mail address in the box to the right. To view the entire series, click here.