The Comparison Trap

I am so excited to introduce my first-ever guest blogger to There Is Grace. I’m even more excited that it’s my first-ever friend, Lora@MyBlessedLife. She is literally my oldest friend, not because of her age (ha!), but because we have literally grown up together.

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Lora and me, circa 1974

Many years ago, Lora’s parents took a young preacher (my dad) under their wing and a lifelong, cross-generational friendship began. We’ve spent our lives separated by multiple states (except for two years of college in the same city). Still, we’ve managed to keep in touch through the years and across the miles.

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Lora and me on a weekend visit from college

Lora is an encouragement and an inspiration to me. She is an amazing woman, devoted wife, loving mother, and genuinely beautiful friend. She is also the one who convinced me to try my hand at “this blogging thing” a few years ago, and I’m so glad she did!

So, without further ado, I’d like to introduce my dear friend and blogging inspiration, Lora at MyBlessedLife….

Happy Monday to you all!  I’m Lora, lifelong friend of Nancy, and I’m so excited that she’s invited me to be here today.  I’m a wife and partner in ministry with my husband, a homeschooling-stay-at-home mom to two kiddos (The Princess, age 9, and Mr. B, age 7), and I do a lot of cooking, cleaning, and refereeing sibling arguments.

During this month of getting back to the basics of daily time in God’s Word, I have also been reading a new book for mothers.  With the title No More Perfect Moms, the tone for the whole book is set. It has really been speaking to me and it seems that the theme of “striving for perfection” has been jumping out at me in more ways than just this book.

Or perhaps my reading this book has just made me more aware.  Without completely ripping off my husband’s message from church a couple of Sunday’s ago, I want to share with you some thoughts that have really spoken to me.

What do you see when you look in the mirror?  If you are anything like me, then you spend way too much time (because any at all is too much!) comparing yourself with others.  You know who I mean.  That mom who always looks so put-together–and seems to have no “baby weight” hanging around, the woman at church who seems to be so spiritually mature that you just know she’s never made any mistakes with child rearing, maybe it’s that wife who seems like she has the marriage where there are never any issues and her husband is perfect, this list could go on and on, couldn’t it?

Or maybe you compare yourself with others to make yourself feel better (I think we’re all guilty of this as well).  Whether it’s someone else’s house, clothes, weight, marriage, children, if we look hard enough (or are critical enough) we’ll find someone who we can use to make ourselves feel better.

Why are we always comparing ourselves to others?  We shouldn’t be concerned about what others think of us, trying so hard to be “perfect” like them–or trying to pump up our own ego by looking down on others.  We should be comparing ourselves to only one person: Jesus Christ.  He is our model, our goal, true perfection–our perfect mirror.

When we get up each morning and look into the mirror we may see someone we like or someone we don’t like very much, but do we see Jesus?

James 1:23-25 says, “for if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks at his natural face in a mirror; for once he has looked at himself and gone away, he has immediately forgotten what kind of person he was.  But one who looks intently at the perfect law, the law of liberty, and abides by it, not having become a forgetful hearer, but an effectual doer, this man will be blessed in what he does.” 

I truly don’t want to be distracted by myself in the mirror–or even forget entirely what a mess I looked like in the mirror–instead I want to see Jesus shining through in all that I say and do.  Now I know I’m not going to achieve perfection here on earth, but striving to be like Christ is definitely my goal.

Lately I’ve been asking myself things like, “Would I say that to Jesus?” and “How would Jesus respond to this situation?”  And I don’t always get it right.  In fact, I get it more wrong than right.  But I’m trying to change that.  I’d really like to get it more right than wrong.  And it’s a daily choice to be a doer of God’s Word and not just a hearer.

Thirty 4 30.125x125We have 10 days left in this Thirty for 30 Bible reading challenge and I encourage you to dive in there!  Even if you’re just now starting, make that choice today to see what God has to say to you from His amazing, living Word.

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Great word, Lora! Thank you so much for sharing!

I hope you’ll stop over at My Blessed Life and let Lora know how much you enjoyed what she shared today. And don’t forget to link-up on Thursday (or simply stop by to leave a comment) as we continue our Thirty for 30 Challenge!

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Plus: Read the full story of my journey through cancer to healing in Unshakable: Finding Faith to Weather the Storm. Available now at Amazon.

2 thoughts on “The Comparison Trap

  1. I think comparison is truly a thief of our own joy and pride in who god has made us. The less time I spend connected to my ego
    About parenting specifically the better! May god continue to reveal himself to me in this way of Self acceptance as I connect to his grace and the wisdom that the holy
    Spirit promises to lead us in.

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