My husband and I waited in the cold, sterile exam room. We knew the cancer was back; a biopsy had confirmed it. We had talked with two different oncologists, and I had recently undergone a very long day of tests and scans to determine the extent of the recurrence.
Now we waited for the specialist, hoping he would confirm what the other doctors had speculated…another surgery, possibly chemotherapy.
The specialist–the one everyone claimed was THE GUY for this–arrived with his entourage of medical personnel. (Apparently when one is THE GUY, people want to follow you around and learn how you do what you do.) Once the introductions and pleasantries were done, he cut straight to the chase. “The type of cancer you have is non-curative. We need to start chemo right away. Hopefully we will be able to find something that works and keep it from spreading.”
There it was…expressed as casually as if he was ordering lunch.
He launched into what I’m sure is routine for him… a barrage of information: recommendations of treatment, names of various chemo drugs, treatment schedules, options for clinical trials, etc.
Once I was capable of focusing on his words again, this is what I understood: They could remove the three tumors they found, but they have not yet discovered how to keep this type of cancer from returning.
This was not how it was supposed to go. I was OK with another surgery, if needed. I had begun to accept the idea of chemotherapy, if that’s what it took. But non-curative?
That meant that this doctor…the one who was supposed to be THE GUY–the cancer specialist…didn’t know how to get rid of this cancer. If he didn’t know what to do, what kind of hope did I have?
Somewhere between the hospital and the highway to go home, God leaned in and whispered, “Do you think I’m big enough?”
It was in that moment that all those flannel board stories I heard as a kid, all the late-night devotions and sermons over the years started to pay off. Something “clicked” inside of me and I realized the God I had prayed to for healing was the same God who created our universe out of nothing. (Genesis 1)
He’s the One who blew back the waters so a nation of people could cross on dry land. (Exodus 14)
He’s the One who helped a young boy with a few rocks defeat a seasoned soldier. (1 Samuel 17)
He’s the One who kept three Hebrew boys from being consumed by fire. (Daniel 3)
He’s the One who healed a woman of a lifelong medical condition. (Mark 5)
He’s the One who called Lazarus from the grave when he’d already been dead four days. (John 11)
Because those are more than fun stories to spark the imagination of children in Sunday school. They are actual, historical events. Moments when God, who exists far beyond our confines of space and time, stepped into the everyday moments of ordinary people. And miracles happened.
This God. He is THE GUY for my situation.
While I was shocked at the diagnosis, it did not shock God.
While doctors are baffled by this type of cancer, God is not. He is the Author of all life. If He can reverse a chronic medical condition and call a dead man from the grave, He can correct a few cells in my body that have gone awry. In the words of a friend of mine, “Cancer’s got nothing on the Creator of the universe!”
I love how Mercy Me puts it in their song, “You Are I Am.” If you’ve not heard the song, I encourage you to take a few minutes and listen to it now. You won’t regret it:
This same God knows your situation, too. Whatever you face today. He is not shocked by it. He is not scared or intimidated by it. He is (more than) big enough.
This post is part of the series, Embracing Hope. In the coming weeks, we’ll look at why we can put our hope in God, how we put our hope in God, and what we can do when it feels all hope is lost. Won’t you come along for the journey? Consider subscribing via e-mail so you can receive new posts delivered directly to your inbox! Simply enter your e-mail address in the box to the right. To view the entire series, click here. Photo source
Nancy I cannot even begin to imagine what you are going through right now, but I a so glad you are clinging to the Creator of the universe who hold this world in check. Indeed, this is not too big for Him. But even more than that, Nothing can pluck you from His hand of love…not, mutating cells, not trials from without and within, NOTHING!!
You are constantly in my prayers and may God’s peace continue to flood over you and your family as you travel this road.
Tanya, thank you so much for the words of encouragement. They are so appreciated! Blessings, Nancy
So true!! God is THE GUY, the only GUY we need to put our hope and faith in. So well written…as usual!
Thank you, Anna!
What an amazing God we have that He cares about the smallest cells in our bodies and reminds us of His love for us. Continuing to pray for you and your sweet family as you go through this.
Thank you, Amy!
I loved this post. I found it on Pinterest, and I completely agree that God is big enough for any of our situations here on Earth. Even the scariest of them all — cancer. I’m so glad He whispered those words to you and you remembered all of the amazing things He’s done in the past. I definitely think we often put God in a box, thinking our problems or situations are bigger than Him. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you for stopping by, Tiffany! Hope you will come back again! ~Nancy
“I AM” is my one of my favorite names He has – ABBA is right up there too! “I AM” constantly reminds me He covers it all. Praying for you and yours, your upcoming treatments, and for the cancer to “forget” where you live. I was diagnosed with a type of blood cancer in 1990, take chemo every day, three month visits to cancer specialist to check how things are doing, body beginning to show symptoms from the chemo, etc., but – I live a very normal and active life. Only because I am “in” Him am I able to trust my ABBA, my I AM, is bigger. And better!
Amen, Deby…amen! So glad to hear God is holding you in His hand!
When you got to the part that said GOD leaned in and ask, Do you think I’M big enough, chills went over me and it brought me to tears. HE is the one and only one we can rely on. Nothing takes HIM by surprise.
GOD BLESS!!!
So true, Charlotte. So true! Thank you for stopping by!
Nancy, your faith inspires me so much! I love reading your beautiful words here. God is indeed being glorified through your trial. Always praying for you, girl.
Oh, thank you, Rosann!
Your faith is obviously getting you through this huge trial enough that you can look outside yourself and encourage others with His great power! HE IS ENOUGH for those that love Him. In my ladies bible study we are learning about Eucharisteo which is thanksgiving, grace and joy in the moment and how you live. These things always precede a miracle. May the Lord grant you a miracle of healing…..at least we know He will be by your side all the way THROUGH this trial.
Amen, AnnMarie! Thank you so much for sharing! Love the concept of Eucharisteo!!
The “whisper of God”– I love it. God is always ready to help us. May his presence strengthen you daily.
Beautiful writing! I know that God will heal you one day because He is not only THE GUY, but He IS and can do anything.
Thank you so much for linking with Transformed Tuesdays at More to Be. We look forward to linking up again!
Nancy, I don’t know if you’ll ever read this, since this post is several years old. But I wanted to tell you, thank you so much for sharing your story and the song. I was just telling a friend recently some of the mental and emotional battles that I have come through–THROUGH–and how God taught me that He is my Warrior, my Strength and Song, my Anchor, and my Hope. Last week, I was so frustrated at the confusion that the enemy was bringing into my mind, and I told Jesus, “If I could just grab hold of this thing and slam it against the wall and choke it…”
Before I could finish the prayer, I felt Him say,
“I did.”
May God bless you and heal you completely; until then, may you rest in His care and walk on for His glory. He is big enough!
Amen!! I’m so glad you found this post!